In times of troubles

Lately, graduate school has been slowly killing me. My ability to read, think and write at an academic level is out of the window. Three years was a long time to be out of school. I have a list of excuses in my head. I want to get out of this rut I am experiencing. I want to be able to reach out to professors and ask questions so that I understand the course more and everything but I have a hard time to even think of where to begin. I have an essay, proposal and presentation due in less than a week and I haven't even begin to think about it let alone start it. Procrastination has always been my weakness but this time it's not procrastination, it's my mental state.

How can I get myself ready for this? At times like this, I start to think if I was every ready for this in the first place? Was this too much of a change for me to go into? Did I make the right decision? I made my decision and now I'm living through it. Part of me really wants to give up but another part of me is like... you have invested a lot into this decision you have to make the most of it. Stick it out for another year. However, I can't seem to see the end of the tunnel with this semester.

Oh man. I want to sleep early tonight and work on things tomorrow. Procrastination speaking for sure. I want to make sure I can at least get readings done for tomorrow... I want to stop wallowing in a pit of "i can'ts" and move on but... I just don't know how to take that first step.

Culture shock.
Reverse culture shock.
Graduate school culture.
Introvert personality within an extroverted society.
When will I start getting used to this change in my life? I was hoping I'd get used to it by now?

I should get back to my readings... hopefully something will come out of it tonight.

Comments

Transfer and Communication

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Osaka! Takarazuka! Junsu?

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Where are you now karmie?

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