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Just wondering...

I would like to propose a question...
rhetorical possibly but for my personal interest and a way to make my thoughts lighter.
How long does it take for a person to realize their purpose in life?

These thoughts were running through my head when I was walking downtown victoria two days ago with a friend, talking about school. In the end, our day to day worries really doesn't matter in the future so why really worry that much about it now. Do the best I can and in one way or another, I will be rewarded in the end. Even if that reward lasts for that present time. It's the way towards simple life... possibly.
It seems hard to realize as I really think about it, I am just starting my second semester of my third year and soon in september I will be embarking on my fourth year to almost graduating. I thought these thoughts wouldn't appear again after high school but now here I am thinking the same thing.
It's relatively difficult eh? Hence, I am very jealous of people who have held onto their childish dreams and made goals towards those dreams.
As a child, the world is your playground for your imagination, you can be anything but as you become an adult, reality sinks in and it becomes the first and very difficult obstacle to get over.
In all honesty, I have had many dreams when I was younger, broadway singer, pianist, singer, someone famous, screenwriter, etc.
However, I never really held onto them for a long time and kept changing according to my personal interest. I am the type to start something but not finish it and that is something I would like to change in 2013. Especially as the start of my senior year in university is coming up.

I think more than discovering what I want to do in the future, I have realized more of my personality and my identity as a person, my weaknesses and strengths in university. I'm not denying that it is definitely a good thing to realize your self identity but at the same time, as you get to know yourself more, things get complicated. I wish to return to my childhood sometimes and think of which dream was the strongest one for me? As I already mentioned, I had a lot of dreams when I was  younger, which one stood out for me? What thoughts continuously come out when I am having down and free time? Once I figure that out, is it possible to start taking steps towards that dream?
I try to do that with every single one of my dreams that I had when I was a child but then my last question would be,
and then what? Once I imagine myself achieving that career... and then what?
These thoughts continuously circulate in my head.
It's not like it's a negative thought, or maybe is it?

Humans tend to live their lives on the basis of emotions. "Once I achieve this dream, although it'll be hard, I'll be happy!" is a phrase I often hear. Maybe it's because I possibly don't have a dream or haven't experienced it myself before, I just often question, what's the purpose of living on the basis of emotions? Emotions are something we can't see but we feel. It's the basis of so many wrong and right doings in the world. I guess it keeps the world and society moving to bring "life" into the world in a sense.

But sometimes, these deep thoughts circulate into a vicious circle of me answering them with common sense that the world presented to me and at the same time question those common sense attitudes which essentially is quite negative I suppose.

There's a reason, I guess, why people say, you will be happier if you don't think or ask too many questions. I agree in this case I guess. That's why humans have religion to make those questions make sense in a weird way. Questions about life is definitely one that passes on from generation to generation, it's something humans have always asked. Some people choose to ignore it and some people choose to do something about it, hence the birth of many religions.

To live simply.
That's something I really wish to do. One with some failure and some successes but in the end simple.
However, my questions will be left unanswered when I choose to live simply.

I'm not sure if you can follow my thought process or not but in the end it's quite negative and complicated.
However, I realize that my dream, is really to live simply. Not to "simply" ignore those questions but just ponder on the questions. Don't let it get to myself. As a human being, we always think that there's a start and an ending but at the same time, we always often say the end is the start of something new and that something new is what every person is curious about. What happens after the end?  Does it really end?
My resolve and comfort is possibly, I'm thinking too hard.
I'm still young, there'll be time to think about these matters.
Life can be hard but we get by it day to day and that's what matters.
Carpe diem.

We must think about the future but not dwell on them. We may reminiscence the past but again not dwell on them. We must live in the present and make that day count.
Simple life = no attachment with attachment.

Confusing?
I'm sorry but it makes sense in my head and now the burden of thought is off my shoulders.
I debated whether to post this publicly but realize, if there's anyone at all reading my blog, I actually would like to hear their opinion on this matter. Just an open opinion from any perspective.
I'm not trying to be philosophically deep about life it's just that I have these thoughts from time to time as a student who is going through the motions of life. I'm sure I'm not the only one as many children tries to find their place is society.
What comes down to it, I'm just basically wondering...

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